Fairness in a Relationship: Why It Matters and How to Achieve It

Fairness is a fundamental aspect of a healthy and happy relationship. It helps to create a strong foundation of trust, respect, and mutual support that can withstand the challenges and stresses of life. When both partners feel that they are being treated fairly, they are more likely to trust each other and respect each other’s opinions and decisions. 

Nonetheless, many couples grapple with the concept of fairness. It is often related to the distribution of responsibilities and resources in the relationship. In many relationships, one party’s primary role and area of focus (e.g. homemaking, financial contribution, etc.) will often differ from the other party’s given each partner’s respective area of strength and expertise. It is difficult, even impossible, to present absolute equality when life and responsibilities cannot be divided into two equal halves. 

For example, sometimes one party will feel that they are doing more than their ‘fair’ share of work, and their sense of contributing more to the relationship can lead to feelings of resentment and frustration. It is important for couples to communicate openly about their roles and expectations in the relationship, and to work together to find a natural balance in the distribution of responsibilities and resources that addresses their respective needs. Achieving this will lead to greater harmony and happiness in the relationship.

Feelings of resentment often arise when one party feels that they are putting in a disproportionate amount of work and/or their efforts have not yielded appropriate recognition from the other party. This can happen when either party is unaware of the other’s needs. When both partners feel that their contributions are recognised, valued, and appreciated, it can help to create a better sense of balance and equality in the relationship. 

A fair relationship is one where both partners feel valued, respected, and supported.

How to Achieve Fairness in a Relationship

Achieving fairness in a relationship requires effort and communication from both partners. Here are some tips on how to achieve fairness in your relationship:

1. Openness and honesty: Communication is key to any successful relationship. Be open and honest with your partner about your needs and desires, and listen to theirs in return.

2. Be willing to compromise: The art of give and take, and the act of creative problem-solving to suit both partners’ needs matter just as much as the endgame itself. 

3. Share responsibilities: Divide household chores and other responsibilities in a way that works for both partners, and be willing to go the extra mile to help each other out when needed.

4. Respect each other’s boundaries and personal space: this can help to prevent feelings of resentment and promote a more harmonious relationship.

5. Be supportive: Support each other through good times and bad, as life tends to give us plenty of both! Be there for each other emotionally, and offer encouragement, kindness, and support when needed.

Fundamentally, fairness is not about equality or ‘splitting everything down the middle’, but rather about finding a healthy balance in the relationship. You can achieve this through communicating openly about your needs, being willing to compromise, being supportive, and respecting each other’s boundaries. When both partners share responsibilities and feel they each have a say in important decisions, they are more likely to feel like they are in a true partnership, creating a stronger and more fulfilling relationship bond.